Tuesday, May 30, 2023

Open Source Band Name List VI


Start of the Eel

Eurek.A!mouse

Béééééééééééb!!

King Kutlet

The Fabmatics

The Rondelles

Beak Lever

Jesus Wiped

Muffin the Mewl

Hear Cums BB

Queerdo

BattleButts

Mortal Kumrag

Mortal Kom-Rom

Mortal Rom-Kom

Helmut Koh-Lanta

The Koh-Lanta Braves

Mortal Wombat

Wortal Mombat

Mommandadbat

Door Knob Gobbler

K.K.Killers

Muhammad All-in

Kirsti Ali

Rubbish Bin Romance (R.B.R.)

Air B and Beak

Breakdancing w/the Stars

Killemall

Kill Kids Klub

Mall Rat Rangers

Bjorn Borg Queen

Adelphus Himmler

Heinrich Himself

Punchable

Black Bloc Party

Edible Penis

Edible Munster

Mister Missed Her

Norm McDonald's

Dying Was Fun

Honey I Killed the Kids

Kornpone Arena Hog

Ma Cheese Mo

Megadick

Chixondix

Slice-a-Pi

Pumpkin 3.14

Cock Radius

The Spartan Kings

Spartalab

A Band, Dunned

Dorkenheifer

Püssenfüssa

Sixpac Monkeys

Ab Slalom

Jock Ularity

Shameful Waste

Regrets Thunberg

Thunberg Mountain

CashPile

The Great Wall of China White (GW2C)

Grievers

Mourning Becomes Electronic

Wednesday, May 24, 2023

AI story.


Prompt.

OK. My story is about a Physicist named Dr Niko. He goes to the ionosphere to study it and a solar flare creates radiation. He changes into Umbrage Man. His super power is he can take umbrage. He has a sidekick, but they have a falling out. The sidekick becomes known as The Conciliator. Because he is conciliatory. Can you write that as an origin story?

ChatGPT

Certainly! Here's your requested origin story:

In the world of scientific exploration, there was Dr. Niko Harding, a brilliant physicist with an insatiable curiosity. Driven by his passion for understanding the mysteries of the universe, he dedicated his life to studying the ionosphere—an atmospheric layer brimming with untapped potential.

One fateful day, as Dr. Niko conducted research in the heart of the ionosphere, a colossal solar flare erupted, releasing an intense surge of radiation. Caught in the wave of energy, Dr. Niko's body underwent a profound transformation. The radiation altered his genetic structure, imbuing him with a remarkable ability—the power to harness and manipulate umbrage, the deep and intense feeling of taking offense or resentment.

Embracing his newfound powers, Dr. Niko donned a suit of shadowy darkness and adopted the mantle of Umbrage Man. He became a vigilante, vowing to protect the innocent and combat the injustices that fueled his righteous anger. With a striking symbol resembling a stormy cloud adorning his chest, Umbrage Man patrolled the city, ready to cast his umbrage upon those who perpetuated wrongdoing.

However, Umbrage Man was not alone in his quest for justice. Alongside him stood his trusted sidekick, Ethan Blake, a compassionate and empathetic individual who possessed a talent for conflict resolution. Together, they fought crime and sought to bring balance to their city.

But as time passed, the burden of their shared responsibilities weighed heavily upon Ethan's shoulders. He yearned for a peaceful resolution to conflicts, rather than resorting to Umbrage Man's aggressive methods. The differences in their approaches eventually led to a falling out between the two allies.

Ethan, now known as The Conciliator, chose a path of mediation and reconciliation, dedicating himself to fostering understanding and resolving disputes. He became a voice of reason, aiming to bridge the gap between opposing parties and find common ground. The Conciliator's symbol depicted two hands clasped together, representing harmony and compromise.

While Umbrage Man and The Conciliator walked divergent paths, both remained committed to the betterment of their city. Though their methods varied, their underlying desire to create a just and equitable society remained the same.

As the city faced escalating threats, Umbrage Man and The Conciliator occasionally crossed paths, each bringing their unique skills to the table. They found that, despite their differences, their combined efforts proved more formidable against the forces of darkness.

And so, the tale of Umbrage Man and The Conciliator unfolded—a story of two heroes, born from the same purpose but embodying contrasting approaches. Their journey served as a reminder that there are many ways to fight for justice and that unity can be found amidst disagreement.

In the end, Umbrage Man and The Conciliator both left an indelible mark on the city, teaching its citizens the importance of standing up for what is right and finding harmony in the face of adversity. Their origin stories intertwined, revealing the complexities of human nature and the ever-present struggle between anger and forgiveness.

Monday, April 10, 2023

The Talented Mr. Santos

Heisman Trophy winner George Santos

George Santos, creator of RuPaul's Drag Race 

I started this post a while back and quickly abandoned it.  I conceived of it as a brief catalog of Santos' lies, how his ongoing presence in Congress is linked to Trump's normalization of "alternative facts," and how for today's GOP the end justifies any means.  Sadly, the lies started coming in so thick and fast I couldn't keep up....Bear in mind this is a woefully incomplete and undeveloped text.

Let me introduce George Santos, uh, I mean Antony Devolder, um, excuse me, that's George Devolder.  Ahem.  Wait, what?  Ah fuck it.  We don't know what his name is....

A drag queen "hides" in plain sight.  We know it's a man dressed as a woman, but we enjoy the illusion, indeed, we reward it.  Or at least RuPaul does.  But drag is not a lie.  It's not even false.

Santos stands up in front of the public and lies to them.  Unlike drag, there is no consensus.  The public has not agreed to participate in an illusion.  We like to think of Politics as Theater.  If the illusion between an actor and the public is erotic, the lies of a politician are closer to rape by deception:  

a situation in which the perpetrator deceives the victim into participating in a sexual act political exchange that they would otherwise not consent to.

Santos is either a con-man who has reached too far, or a compulsive liar.

Santos means "Saints," as in "Saints alive!" --  but the only holy things here are his stories: "Hole-y" that is, as in full of holes.  Dude's got more holes than a box of doughnuts.... 

Herschel Walker. Bald-faced lies, Alternative facts, Doublespeak, GOP rhetoric

His mom died in 9-11!  His grandparents were killed in the Holocaust!  He's Jewish.  Oh, I meant "Jew-ish."  He was the target of a kidnapping attempt.  He was a producer on that ill-fated Spider Man musical.  He fell off a chair and tipped a table over during a meeting with Stephen A. Schwarzman....

Mix in a few boners to make the lies about the power broker stuff more credible....

Santos has lied about his education and his professional background, but one company he actually did work for was found to be defrauding clients in a Ponzi scheme.  He is accused of sweeping campaign finance law violations.  He robbed a vet's Go Fund Me earnings; the homeless veteran was raising money to save his service dog.  No money, no care.  The dog died.  Santos also robbed an Amish farmer, paying for some puppies with a rubber check.  Bur hey! his (non-existent) charity has saved thousands of (non-existent) dogs. 

He is accused  of organizing a credit card scam in 2017, even blackmailing a guy into participating.  He has been broke one moment and wealthy the next.  He stole clothes from and otherwise defrauded his roommates.  He is accused of sexual harassment.  He claims he was the target of a kidnapping attempt.... 

Here's his official House of Reps biographical blurb:

SANTOS, Georgea Representative from New York; born on July 22, 1988; unsuccessful candidate for election to the One Hundred Seventeenth Congress in 2020; elected as a Republican to the One Hundred Eighteenth Congress (January 3, 2023-present).

Bare bones indeed.

That this dude hasn't been frog-marched to the Capitol entrance and flung down the steps is a testament to due process, and/or Congressional venality.

So that's the beginning of the abandoned project. Wikipedia has a good overview of his deceit.  This here post is problematic and not at all developed, and I've given up on it, but I'm so disgusted with this guy I figured anything that publicizes his shittiness is worth putting online....

Sunday, January 22, 2023

Runnin' with the Devil....

Shout at the Devil

This statue of Lee Roy Selmon sits in a small park near the expressway that bears his name.

Selmon wears the number 63, now retired, he wore when he was on the way to becoming a Tampa Bay Bucs and NFL legend (3 sixes?  As in 6-6-6?)  But over that he wears the casual business clothes that he wore on his way to becoming even more beloved in the Bay Area as an entrepreneur and a businessman, philanthropist, and USF athletic director.

I don't know much about Selmon, but he is said to have been an extremely "gentle" person, and many have argued that he was the best defensive end/tackle in NFL history.  He died after a massive stroke at the age of 56.

A few years back Tampa's USF (University of South Florida) decided to create a football program. I mean, damn, UF's Gators and FSU's Seminoles are football powerhouses, so why not try and create that magic in Tampa?  We have something in the water apparently.

I guess being known for football would be a better claim to fame for Tampa than its reputation for having a copious number of truly seedy dive bars and strip clubs!

I prefer to think it's the Death Metal, or even the Goth subculture.  Or even the Bro Bowl....

Lee Roy Selmon helped make the dream of being a college football town possible. USF's mascot:  the Bulls.  Hence the horns being flashed by Selmon.  Or is it "I love you" in sign language?

But dig it!  Selmon is using the side sinister, the left, as in the left-hand path.  Hail Satin!  Oh you devilishly smooth [black] fabric.  

I down another absinthe, light another taper, and sharpen my quill....Bauhaus plays in the background and the shadow of a spider wavers on the wall, the taper sputtering as a good, little flame gets going....

The Lee Roy Selmon Expressway used to be called the Crosstown Expressway.... Crosstown....Cross Town.  Tampa was a Cross Town, but that's gone now; the vanquished messiah replaced by a warrior of sport and business, realms of physical prowess and acquisition, material pursuits, victory.... 

Selmon's "devil horns" are a Satanic mudra blasting those values loud and proud.  

The word  "Tampa" is often said to be a Timucua word meaning "burning sticks."  This probable folk etymology is due to Tampa's once booming cigar industry.  Hav-A-Tampa was still a big brand of stogie when I was a lad, and are still sold today, though they should probably be called Hav-A-Ponce, cuz they're made in Puerto Rico....

It ain't burning sticks, but burning souls!  Hook-em horns!  And reel-em in, straight to Hades!  Mwah-ha-ha-haaa!  The elevator music on the neverending journey to Abaddon, recorded at Morristown.... located in, get this, the neighborhood of Sulphur Springs....

Obviously, I'm being facetious.  I just can't resist documenting any time I see a photo of someone flashing the "devil horns."  But this ain't no photo, it's a full-time, 8-foot sculpture of a Tampa legend.  I'm sure the ire of the fundamentalists can be found online easily enough.

The website of sculptor Joel Randall.

Sunday, December 4, 2022

I really wish calling this post Necrocomiccon made sense. Punfortunately, it doesn't....


Song of my soul, my voice is 
dead,
Die thou, unsung, as tears 
unshed
Shall dry and die in
    Lost Carcosa.

 "The King in Yellow"

Like a lot of sullen, dorky kids, I first became interested in the occult in my early teens, and the subject interests me to this day....as a sullen, dorky adult.  I've bought a lot of books over the years, but three books I purchased at that heady time really stick out in my memory:  the first three "occult"-related books I bought.  

I might have already read Drawing Down the Moon (Margot Adler, RIP) when I bought these books - I'm not sure - but Adler's book was the first serious study of Wicca I'd read.  Even then I knew the wheat from the chaff.  It seems incredible to me now, but I found Adler's book in my high school library.  I may be wrong, but I'm not sure we'd see it in a public school these days.  Even then, anything vaguely "occult" was hard to find in school libraries, B. Dalton's, or Waldenbooks, the leading bookstores at the time.  This was, after all, the 1980s, and the US was experiencing a moral "Satanic" panic, hysteria that ruined hundreds of good peoples' lives.  QAnon is essentially the same phenomenon, but in this current iteration the "Satanists" have been identified as left-leaning politicians.  In the Middle Ages, it was "the Jooz...."

Let's make a blunt aside:  QAnon is Antisemitism in disguise.

Those early forays into the occult were not the most auspicious, but for me, they were very potent, even dangerous....
  • The Magic Power of Witchcraft by Gavin and Yvonne Frost
  • The Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey
  • Necronomicon (the so-called "Simon" version) by ?
I knew - even then - that the Necronomicon ("the" isn't in the title but Lovecraft uses it and it seems awkward without it) was a work of fiction, but I still felt there was something powerful in it; not in the rituals it contained, not in the incantations, but in the very book itself, the object; it was as if it - literally - radiated some kind of measurable power.  Almost like a homing beacon for otherworldly forces.  

Voodoo works because people believe it works.  Voodoo is a kind of gaslighting.  Tell a believer they've been cursed and they will freak out.  I believed some books radiated power, so they did.

40 years and 20+ addresses later, across 4 states and 2 continents, my original copies of The Satanic Bible and the Necronomicon are still with me.  I just recently moved and most of my books got put in boxes. 2 in particular did not.

The Necronomicon fascinates me because although it was an invention of Lovecraft - a fiction - many occultists insist it is based on something "real."  They maintain that although Lovecraft presented his accounts of the tome as fiction, he was speaking of literal eldritch forces and occult traditions.  For these people, the book is dangerous.  I never believed it could summon ancient entities, but I too, for a while, feared the book enough to resist actually opening it until some time after I'd purchased it.  But I was 12 or 13 years old and had a pretty active - and not always healthy - imagination.  From about 8 to 10 years old I couldn't sleep alone.  I'd awake during the night and lie there in a near panic until I got enough courage to run to my sister's room and sleep next to her.  I don't know why; but such was the mind of a kid who a few years later would treat the Necronomicon seriously:  An arguably neurotic child....not a "reasonable" adult....

The idea of the Necronomicon is so alluring that someone actually took the time to write it. This is the "Simon" Necronomicon that I purchased.  Simon is mentioned in the book's introduction as the person who re-discovered the manuscript.  Lovecraft himself claimed that he got the idea from Gothic stories, where "mouldering manuscripts" were often a trope, and he referred to the book throughout his oeuvre.  But the "Simon" version was originally published in 1978, long after Lovecraft's death in 1937.  

Like The Satanic Bible, my copy is an Avon paperback.  The covers are not dissimilar:  nothing except the title and a similar sigil, all white on black.  Necronomicon has a bit of ornamentation, but otherwise the books are both stark, and about the same dimensions all around.

When I first bought the book, I knew it was fiction, and at the time I was barely familiar with Lovecraft.  I mean, come on. The "Mad Arab"?  It was obvious the book was akin to The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer, published at the height of Twin Peaks mania.  To expand the fictional universe....and make some coin.  Upon reflection, I find my reaction to the book puzzling;  I knew, or at least strongly suspected, it was fiction, yet on some level I was a bit "frightened" of it.  Maybe even then I was on some level aware of the precepts of chaos magic, that is to say that even fiction can be used effectively in ceremonial "magick."  Fiction or no, I knew it was powerful, because so many of the people I knew who were into the occult spoke of it in hushed tones and seemed to fear it.  It was catching.  It comes back to that comment about voodoo:  it works because people believe it works....

My great hope is that somebody some day will write and even stage The King in Yellow, the play mentioned in several stories of Robert W. Chalmers' eponymous collection.  It is an obvious thing to do: a malevolent play, a shocking diary, an accursed grimoire.  The fame of the stories in which they are found is such that readers are left wanting more, they want to actually read these disturbing things.  Some have suggested Lovecraft was inspired by Chalmers" fictitious play when he invented the Necronomicon, but apparently he did not encounter Chalmers' work until after he had already created his own....

Shadows here of Don Quixote and perhaps one of the inspirations for Foucault's Pendulum....

The Simon Necronomicon is a bit silly, really.  Lovecraft himself knew he could never write something as horrible as the book was said to be.  He knew hints and brief citations were much more effective.  And he was right.  The Simon Necronomicon is just too obviously fabricated to fill the reader with cosmic horror and dread - unless the reader is a 10-year-old neurotic who can't sleep alone....Guilty!  To recreate the power of the fictional book is impossible.  Chalmers wrote a few stanzas of The King in Yellow, but would never have been able to write an entire work with the effect of his fictional play.  The King in Yellow was said to have driven people mad.  It burned through Europe like an epidemic.  A diseased meme.  If he'd written it for real, one would read it, not go mad, and then poof!  The illusion - ruined.

H. P. Lovecraft, quoted by Peter H. Gilmore:
....one can never produce anything even a tenth as terrible and impressive as one can awesomely hint about. If anyone were to try to write the Necronomicon, it would disappoint all those who have shuddered at cryptic references to it.
The Simon Necronomicon is still in print and still sells a fairly decent amount of copies per year.  Most probably bought by newly-minted Lovecraftians.  A novelty for the collection.

Peter Gilmore, Magus of the Church of Satan, wrote an essay about the book which is worth reading.  The book has retained an air of mystery even in this era where almost all information can be accessed 24/7.  The book's true author isn't known for certain, although Gilmore sheds some light on that.

Gilmore also writes that the fact the book is a fiction doesn't make it useless as a magical tool:
Satanists understand that any prop that is sufficiently stimulating can be used in personal ritual, so if the materials contained in this book send the proper chill down your spine, then certainly avail yourself of them. As Magistra Nadramia has said: “Working with and expressing your emotions in the ritual chamber using this particular little black book is perfectly valid Satanic magic. A careful look at The Satanic Bible will tell you that Dr. LaVey encouraged the magician to use any and all elements of fiction, fact and fancy to create his Intellectual Decompression Chamber.
But, he adds:
Just don’t fool yourself outside the ritual chamber into the belief that you are using some authentic ancient tome handed down by Elder Gods to their human, or humanoid, servitors.
This reminds me of chaos magic and the tenet that "belief is a tool."  One can perform bibliomancy with a Bible or Donald Duck cartoons, and have equally valid results.  

Anyway, I stumbled across Gilmore's essay because I was interested in learning a bit more about Gilmore's biography.  I wasn't looking for Necronomicon information at all.  That said, I recently pulled out my copy to look through for the first time in over a decade, and it's sitting on the table next to my laptop.  So, when I clicked on Gilmore's essays and saw he'd written about it, my spider senses tingled.  

For some reason I wrote Nina Simone on a recent collage and then went to the metro after I'd finished collaging for the day; there I noticed a new poster about an upcoming concert in homage to....Nina Simone.  

When it rains it pours.

The coincidence of coming across an essay about a book I'd only just pulled off the bookshelf in over a decade made me think:

 "Drring-drring! Synchronicity calling. Write something."

And here it is.