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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Jape Meatometer Lustration

HEY, HO, LET'S GO! Act 1:

"Now the LORD had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights." - Jonah 1:17

jape, v.
  1. To trick, beguile, befool.
  2. To seduce (a woman); to know carnally
  3. To mock, deride, insult.
1382 Pol. Poems (Rolls) I. 270 Sle thi fadre, and iape thi modre, and thai wyl the assoile.

HEY, HO, LET'S GO! Act 2:

"Then Jonah prayed unto the LORD his God out of the fish's belly" - Jonah 2:1

meatometer, n.
  1. An instrument for measuring the urethral meatus.
1898 A Handbook of Genito-urinary Sugery and Venerial Diseases ... an ounce of a five percent solution of cocaine, and a tube of sterilized vaseline ... the patient is put upon his back, legs slightly seperated, the meatus is measured with a meatometer (fig. 60.)

HEY, HO, LET'S GO! Act 3:

"And the LORD spake unto the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land." - Jonah 2:10

lustration, n.
  1. A rite of purification, especially washing.
  2. The restoration of credibility to a government by the purging of perpetrators of crimes committed under an earlier regime.
1875 Contemp. Rev. XXV. 256 The Saxon expends his lustrative energies upon his street and stairway, but never thinks of washing his own shirt.

2 comments:

  1. Disarticulated: to separate joint from joint; to become disjointed; to separate at the joints.

    What sort of species needs terms for these actions?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Meatus
    From Wikipedia

    In anatomy, a meatus is a natural body opening or canal (Latin, 4th declension pl. meatus, or meatuses - often incorrectly meati).

    Examples include:

    * the external acoustic meatus, the opening of the ear canal
    * The internal auditory meatus, a canal in the temporal bone of the skull
    * the urinary meatus, which is the opening of the urethra, situated on the glans penis in males, and in the vulva in females
    * the superior meatus, middle meatus and inferior meatus of the nose

    ****

    Sorry for not getting back to your emails Gid! Busy beaver and all. More commentary forthcoming...?

    First thought: I never want to have an encounter with a meatometer, with or without cocaine....

    ReplyDelete

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