There's some new FaceBook thing going on where people "like" this statement:
"If I need to take a drug test to get a job, then you need a drug test to get welfare!"
Well, the way I figure it is, is people oughta pee in toilets, not cups.
But god bless ya for gettin' your kink out there in the open.
Fare thee well.
In your "cups"? A rare display of thin-skin-ness from you... Shrug it off.
ReplyDeleteYeah Gid, don't get pissed! (groan)
ReplyDeleteWell fellows, stay tuned for my upcoming withering ripostes against half-removed bumperstickers, door-to-door solicitors, improper apostrophes, and stupidly hopeful pricetags of 19.95 ... heh, heh, just kidding, poking fun at myself.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, did you all hear that JD Salinger's toilet is for sale?
Anyhow, to the anonymous commentator, thank for you for commenting and for the advice. Hope to hear again from you soon.
And speaking of thin-skinned, not long after posting my previous lunatic ravings about centipedes, I was banging way on my keyboard in the dark, lit only by my computer monitor from above, when out of the corner of my upper vision I saw something fall fast and heard an audible "thump" on my keyboard. And there was a centipede big as my fingers scurrying across the function keys.
I confess to screeching like Ned Flanders, leaping from my chair, bounding over a pile of kids toys, and sprinting to the steps out of the basement. I was shaking and the shivers up my spine felt like a hundred little footsteps up my back.
I see the Ned Flanders moment clearly!
ReplyDeleteActually, Gid, I'm with you on this post. I understand not wanting to give drug addicts govt. money, but the implication that the unemployed are drug fiends is insulting. Like the guy in NY who wants to house welfare recipients in empty prisons to teach them job skills and "hygiene". Like maybe a nice shower?
It seems to me that there's a cold and mean-spirited attitude towards the unemployed, stemming from the old Protestant Ethic; your poverty is a sign that God does not favor you, in which case, eat cake.
God must hate America more and more, judging from the swelling ranks of the unemployed. There are a lot of stinky drug addicts running around these days! And it's all their own fault....
well, shouldn't you then piss in a cup to get a tax write-off? Government grant? Run for public office? Shouldn't we all have to piss in cups all day and all night?
ReplyDeleteWell, and aren't all who read him JD Salinger's toilet?(oh, unfair, I know he is adored).
As for centipedes, I too loathed them irrationally. We have a few. I investigated the possibility of infestation. Learned they don't breed in large numbers, and prey on undesirable insects. I would certainly jump ten feet in the air and scramble like the Coyote bidway between Cliff Top and Canyon Bottom if one dropped on my keyboard, but as long as they keep their distance I am now 'live and let live'. They are admirable, if freaky, looking motherfuckers. the stuff of delerium tremors.
Yeah, I've generally tried a live & let live strategy with these beasts who are lions of the bug safari in my basement. Usually they hang out in their area and we humans hang our in ours. It's just that we're getting some work done on our kitchen right now, & it's disrupted all the hairy beasties, causing them to flee their dark corners and enter the humanized zones ... unpleasant for both species, to be sure: Quite frankly I know that it's worse for them than for me.
ReplyDeleteo! syncronistical universe: last night I took a bowl out from a dark cabinet and wee baby centipede scattered up the side. I took it out to toss it off the porch (acting on my new-found generosity) and in doing so it landed on my hand. I gave a little shriek and shook the demon off. Lucky for it it was no bigger than an ant.
ReplyDelete