Friday, January 2, 2009

Thousands of shoes tie up Miami freeway traffic

MIAMI (AP) — State troopers are looking for a charity to take thousands of shoes that were dumped on a Miami expressway, tying up rush hour traffic. Lt. Pat Santangelo says the Florida Highway Patrol received a call about the shoes Friday morning.

Santangelo says he's not sure where the shoes came from. There were no signs of a crash and no one stopped to claim them. He says he hopes someone will take them because he doesn't want to send them to the dump.

Workers using a front-end loader and a dump truck were able to quickly clear at least one lane by sweeping all the shoes to shoulder, but delays were expected until they could all be removed.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

We adore you too

"While Playboy Mexico never meant for the cover or images to offend anyone, we recognize that it has created offense, and we as well as Playboy Mexico offer our sincerest apologies."

"The image is not and never was intended to portray the Virgin of Guadalupe or any other religious figure. The intent was to reflect a Renaissance-like mood on the cover."

So reads Playboy's mea culpa after this cover enraged Catholics everywhere.

Our response: "Yeah, right." The Playboy response is such obvious backpeddling bullshit. Larry Flynt would have just told everyone to suck eggs.

The stained-glass, the robe, the December timing, "We adore you Mary"....only an idiot would believe no reference to a the Virgin was intended.

But like the people who've already purchased over 80,000 copies of the issue, we're not offended. We're more offended by the easy self-righteous editorializing exemplified, for example, by the Los Angeles Times.

Uncensored version here.



Book Cover Hall of Fame

Perhaps you once dreamed of writing the Great American Novel. As the years rolled by you began to settle on just a novel, any novel. As more years rolled by you decided that writing the annual PTA newsletter was good enough.

Well, don't give up those dreams just yet. Take heart from the example of Sophie Feodorovna Rostopchine, aka La Comtesse de Ségur. She published her first novel in 1857 at the age of 58 and over the next 15 years published 13 more. The last one came out on 1872, two years before she died.

From a family of Mongolian origin, her father was a Russian general and later a foreign affairs minister. Some claim it was he who set Moscow ablaze in 1812, forcing the retreat of Napoleon. No hard feelings lingered against the French, it would seem, for the family ended up in France in 1817 under the Bourbon Restoration.

Sophie married into the aristocracy and an unhappy marriage with infrequent conjugal visits. Each one apparently resulting in another child. She had eight in all.

If you could judge a book by its cover Un bon petit Diable (1865) would qualify as a doozy. Presenting this cover, purchased for 30 cents at an ubiquitous vide-grenier, a yard sale, is the whole reason for this post.

And what is the book about? It takes place in Scotland beginning in 1842. A Dickensian tale, young Charles is raised by a greedy and tyrannical woman called Mac'Miche. To avenge his mistreatment he and a servant, Betty, begin to play devilish tricks on the woman. During the course of the novel he meets a young blind girl named Juliette, who becomes the good little angel to his good little devil.

The theme of child abuse and rehabilitation via kindness and Christain virtue was apparently a theme common to many of the Countess's books.

This cover from the 1930 edition is probably the best of all the book's many editions.

We can't vouch for the book itself, though you may have a go at it if you read French....

Friday, November 14, 2008

Sixth Foot Ashore


Only 3 days after discovering "meatometers", LoS has learned of a sixth human foot apparently washed ashore in British Columbia.

A brief timeline of the BC6:
  1. 8/20/07 – male right foot; size 12 Campus near Jedidiah Island
  2. 8/26/07 – male right foot; size 12 Reebok on Gabriola Island
  3. 2/2/08 – male right foot; size 11 Nike on Valdez Island
  4. 5/22/08 – female right foot; size 7 New Balance on Kirkland Island
  5. 6/16/08 – male left foot; size 11 Nike on Westham Island
  6. 11/11/08 – female left foot; New Balance on the Fraser River
DNA match feet # 3 and 5.

Curiously, all six feet were found in running shoes. The confirmed five were disarticulated (not cut) and clad in shoes made between 2003 & 2004, with the exception of the 1999 shoe on foot # 4. CNN suggests this is evidence that the feet belong to victims of a plane crash, but local news reports that this theory has been discounted by the RCMP.

One more grisly clue: a lustrative, footless body (male 5'10'') washed ashore on the Orcas Islands approximately 4 months before the first foot was found. As far as LoS can tell, the body has not been definitively linked to any of the feet.

We are still waiting confirmation that foot # 6 is not a hoax. On June 18, 2008, police were japed by an animal paw stuffed in an Adidas human shoe on the Campbell River.

CNN has a nice interactive map.

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Previously on LoS:

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Jape Meatometer Lustration

HEY, HO, LET'S GO! Act 1:

"Now the LORD had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights." - Jonah 1:17

jape, v.
  1. To trick, beguile, befool.
  2. To seduce (a woman); to know carnally
  3. To mock, deride, insult.
1382 Pol. Poems (Rolls) I. 270 Sle thi fadre, and iape thi modre, and thai wyl the assoile.

HEY, HO, LET'S GO! Act 2:

"Then Jonah prayed unto the LORD his God out of the fish's belly" - Jonah 2:1

meatometer, n.
  1. An instrument for measuring the urethral meatus.
1898 A Handbook of Genito-urinary Sugery and Venerial Diseases ... an ounce of a five percent solution of cocaine, and a tube of sterilized vaseline ... the patient is put upon his back, legs slightly seperated, the meatus is measured with a meatometer (fig. 60.)

HEY, HO, LET'S GO! Act 3:

"And the LORD spake unto the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land." - Jonah 2:10

lustration, n.
  1. A rite of purification, especially washing.
  2. The restoration of credibility to a government by the purging of perpetrators of crimes committed under an earlier regime.
1875 Contemp. Rev. XXV. 256 The Saxon expends his lustrative energies upon his street and stairway, but never thinks of washing his own shirt.